assiest:

sex-doesnt-alarm-me:

assiest:

i am 41 cheetos tall 

Why did you think you needed to measure yourself in Cheetos?

we were out of doritos 

please be as weird as me please be as weird as me please be as weird as me
me every time I meet someone (via miel-lapin)
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improbablenormality:

humourous-misadventures:

megasilly:

You know what language I love? Welsh.

I mean

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how

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can you not 

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love

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this ridiculous

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amazing language?

you know our word for ‘microwave’ is ‘popty ping’, right?

this language is literally keysmashing

dumbscar:

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HAVE SOME PENGUINS CHASING A BUTTERFLY

Há 21 horas
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jensen-fuckles:

The new harry potter movie looks great

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

croutoncat:

people who randomly decide to compliment you are so important

guy:

yeah baby i am an ANIMAL in bed. more specifically a koala. i can sleep for 22 hours a day

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awkward-lee:

Close, but no banana

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fakenasty:

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER

SOONCO